Taking the blame
I've changed since I met you. I used to be this happy, independent, out-going woman. Now I only pretend to be that way. I used to have some sort of self-respect, but now I let people do whatever they want to me. I wish I could blame you for this, but I am the only one that I can blame. I let you make me this way and it is up to me to make me back into the woman that I want to be. I need to stop pitying myself, and move on. I have survived worse things than a broken heart. You broke more than my heart. I let you break my spirit.I let myself lose faith in people and close myself off to the world.It was me who started hurting myself again, not you. It was me who loved someone who hurt me. You hurt me long before I loved you. It was me who let you effect my self confidence.
I orginally joined this site to get out my thoughts and feelings about you. In the end very few of my letters have been to you. I realized that I have very little to say to you at all and a lot more to say to myself. I'm sorry for blaming you.
User Comments about this Scrap!
Go for it, writing it down seems to have clarified your sense of purpose? Broken hearts mend - I am living proof of that... Your self confidence and sense of who you are - are yours and yours alone.
Best wishes my friend, and may your resolve carry you into sempiternal horizons.
--by Phethean, 08/14/2006
I know exactly what your going through. I went through it with my ex. Even though he robbed me of me he completed me in other ways that no body could. I made my choice to live with out him today, but sometimes regret it. Sometimes I think that maybe my expectations were too high and I was just being greedy, trying to mold him into some thing he's not and will never be. I'm still growing and learning from this heart breaking experience anticipating the ending to this bitter sweet experience.
--by Cest la vie, 08/16/2006
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