lost along the way
where are you? i used to know you so well. your likes, your dislikes. your passions. you've been gone for so long i can't see you anymore. When did you turn into this person?
life has mangled you. you are a mess. a jumble waiting for an opportunity to be untangled. i don't think that opportunity is ever going to come knocking.
life and all its responsibilities have drained you. the hats you wear upon your head somewhere transformed into heavy burdens upon your shoulders. no one should have to carry those in the manner in which you have been expected. the person in your life who should be sharing those burdens with you has been the first to lay them upon you without even realizing it. and i'm sorry to say, you have allowed it. at first it was your attempt to be strong and supportive. that role mutated into the monster that stole your being. get out from under all that weight. if you don't, it will crush you. it will flatten everything that is left and the person who you once were, the happy, creative girl hidden deep inside will be lost forever.
are you afraid of what you may find under there? After you've peeled back all the excuses and responsibilities that keep you hidden, will that person still be there and will she be who you have built her up to be in your mind? or will she be a disappointment?
honestly, what could be more of a disappointment than the stranger who has stood in your place and walked your those footsteps all this time. the weak and scared person who is afraid of everything. you need to stop being afraid and start being you. and being scared is not part of who you are...that is the fear talking. it's speaking its mind and trying to overpower you. stop worrying about everyone else and focus on you. do what you love. and if you're not sure of what that is anymore, than we are in bigger trouble than i thought.
don't let the world get the best of you. you deserve everything that the world has to offer. life is short. you only get one shot at it. stop wasting precious time. don't settle for a good life, strive to make it a great one.
you now are the heroine to a precious and beautiful soul. i know you don't want that impressionable little life to follow in the path you've been traveling. you need to show that little miracle that you are more than just what you've become. teach her to respect and believe in herself. you teach by example, and the examples you have been setting for her to witness are not something of which to be proud. Smarten up, would you!
I know you can do this. you've been through too much and have too much to look forward to for you to not. the road will be hard, but worth it.
keep your head up.
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