i am not afraid of the shadow that creeps

We all breath but has anyone ever stopped to and actually took a breath. breathing with not just our lungs but with our eyes ears and hands. that would be living. Watching as the world breaths from day to night, fall to winter, winter to spring, spring to summer. somewhere along the way watching, tasting, feeling life it self breathing. life is truly amazing . but somthing creeps a shadow? what is it?

Your born kicking and screaming. the first thing we learn to do is use our senses. the smell and feel of our mothers and fathers. we cry to communicate whaw means change me whaw means feed me whaw means hold me. Crawling around know, more freedom. growing teeth, walking and learning to talk losing teeth. pre-school, nap times and recess. Elamentry school. all these excellants their is still something leerking behind it. It's not clear

middle school, crushes, first loves, dances ( those lines we lined up in and swayed back and forth). dreaming of high school and meeting new friends of whom you are still with today and some you're not. But turning around and looking behind theirs something that still creeps. geting color and becoming more clear but still not clear enough.

High school, more freedom than before. loves dreams of life to come, friends party's trouble, watching some friends fall and not understanding why or for what, junior proms, senior proms graduation. But still something creeps from behind, you try to guess at what it is but miss every time.

Collage more freedom staying up all hours of the night partying for some and flat out work for others.meeting new interesting people become friends for life, lovers for life. trips to lands that you will always talk about, doing things that you will never talk about. the end of easy and on to the real world. but something still creeps and you still try to guess as it grows with color and clarity of what it is why its fallowing you.

Finding a job, getting married having kids. showing them the things you have learned through lifes angles, watchings them grow just as you grew through elemantry, junior, high school and collage. and still in the shadows something creeps now its reaching for you, trying to grab you. what is it.

your kids kids, you smile as they grow and you stop guessing at what creeps behind you. life catching up to you the smile grows bigger and you let it in making no fight with it. it takes you, they weep you still smile.

--by aped, melrose, 06/08/2008